Make Love Inevitable
If you're freaking out that you might never fall in love for reals, I feel you.
But I hope this post gives you faith.
I so needed to hear stories like this to keep going....
I spent the last 10 years searching, lowering my standards, and at times, lost my faith completely.
I felt like while everyone else was boarding the plane of love, for some reason, I was stuck going round in a baggage claim of unhealthy relationships. And often helping others get on the plane!
I'm the youngest of five. All my siblings found the love of their lives. Two of them were in their mid-forties when they met their life partners. Why? Because they waited and waited until they knew.
Seeing them so freakin' blissed out with these partners proved to me that keeping yourself available for your ideal is essential to letting them in.
Especially emotionally available.
Believe me, I've clung to the square peg relationship, jamming that thing into the round hole. For years. Because I was too afraid of going through the pain of the breakup, that I would regret it, and worse, end up dying from terminal aloneness.
This thinking, fear, and faithlessness, keeps us trapped in bad situations. Baggage claim. In a deprivation mentality that perpetuates the illusion of lack that manifests less.
I have learned, finally at the age of forty, that the universe is willing to deliver abundance if we let it in and BELIEVE.
I had to believe and behave like I was worthy of boarding the plane.
I had to start feeling that it was inevitable. Just a matter of time.
This made me happier on the journey. And I had to jump into the unknown.
I had to be willing to be alone. And learn to enjoy it by entertaining and cultivating myself.
I CREATED things that excited me in the ways I relied on men to.
I stopped searching for him (on apps especially), and instead searched for my own passions, talents and desires. And that's exactly where I found him, searching for his.
I wish I knew that in a new relationship or dating someone, feeling unhappy, worried, uncomfortable, unsure how the person feels about me, not receiving texts or calls on a regular basis, obsessing over differences, meant very early on that the relationship won't work.
However, I wouldn't change a single thing because of where it's led me: to my soulmate. I don't say that in the sappy way you might read it. I mean that I fucking manifested this vision of a man by ending a toxic relationship, having faith, waiting, and focusing on myself.
I didn't know it was possible to feel a foundation of gratitude and joy ALL the time. No matter what conflicts arise.
My imagination was so limited. And surviving his own years of love struggles, his was, too.
Today, we often tell each other, through tears of mutual relief and surrender, that we are on the metaphorical plane together. And that we deserve it.
Please believe me: You deserve to drop the struggle. When it's right, it's easy. And not without its challenges. It just feels so damn good that you're not wondering why it feels so bad.
For more about my journey to love and to find support on yours, see my online course.