Do you... worry you'll never find the right match but feel tired of looking? feel isolated and alone, like the only one who hasn't partnered up? experience anxiety about socializing or dating as things start opening up after quarantine? Are you discouraged with online app ghosting and dead-end connections? Do you feel ashamed of being single? Do you want to learn to embody and attract that ideal you're looking for? If you're single, you know how challenging and lonely this pa
Lots of factors play a part in determining whether a relationship will work or not. But two are especially accurate predictors of relationship success: 1.) Feeling SAFE, physically and emotionally. Like feeling you can be honest without judgement, not having to fear name-calling or attack when you open up and get real. Feeling yourself. 2.) Shared VALUES: like honesty, exercise, family, mindfulness.... The most HARMFUL habit in relationships? CONTEMPT: assuming the worst abou
Message me soon if you're interested in joining my next zoom Intimacy in Recovery Support Group. There are a few spots left if you're still on the fence! Take the leap! We'll begin an incredible process of helping each other (a small intimate counseling support group) through our fears of love and the blocks and issues that we don't have to face alone. And come to find out, we are not the only ones struggling (no matter how "together" we all seem!) The ability to be intim
I spent most of my life having no idea what this was costing me.: My soul ached in the wrong relationships, the safe jobs I tolerated, the addictions I wasted away in for so many years. ALL of them SYMPTOMS of being emotionally unavailable while simultaneously making me more and more shutdown.....
Until I saw how my defenses were exactly the things keeping me stuck in the loneliness I wanted so much to go away.
For years, I struggled with intimacy - dating, crying, and lo
I'm so grateful to Jason Digges, Authentic Relating Training International Co-Founder, for having me on This Authentic Life podcast.... "Psychotherapist and Intimacy + Emotional Sobriety Facilitator Alison Bulman joins ART International Co-Founder Jason Digges this week on the podcast. Recount Alison’s experience falling in love with the practice of Circling, what it was like to tell someone what she thought about them for the very first time, igniting a relationship with hea
When I accepted I was an alcoholic, it was like falling face forward into a pool. Acceptance rolled into every crevice of my body, my mouth, my ears, my armpits that had sweated out pools of toxins on nights spent drinking and snorting dust over and over again. Reaching. For a feeling I wanted to feel all the time. Why can’t I just feel this way? It was a wired kind of normal I sought. A connection to other human beings I experienced through games of truth or dare that grew m
You can easily make the most of this intimate time with yourself. Now’s a perfect time to become a relationship black belt by effortlessly working on your intimacy issues for when you get back out there. I invite you to sit back, and watch my video Intimacy Overhaul Online course. I will entertain and educate you on everything about becoming emotionally available and attracting the love you want. I tell you all about how I did it myself - my story about becoming an alcoholic,
Our Social Sanity calls have been so good! Hear how talking about the things you hide can electrify the room - making you more beautiful, lovable, and bring so much joy to those who get to witness you in your deepest truth. Join our daily noon zoom to practice mindful relating to feel more alive right now and get empowered to bring yourself more authentically into your relationships. PM me for details. Watch now:
This is one of the most intimate times we’ve ever experienced. We are alone with ourselves, or under the microscope of a spouse and our children. Every behavior, habit, characteristic unveiled. We are knowing ourselves and each other on a much deeper level - while we watch our reactions to a totally novel situation. Without any escape to work distractions, entertainment, moving around, we are forced to feel the interior of our lives. And our closest relationships. And evaluat
Here’s my recap from the Couples Quarantine Tutorial Vincenzo and I hosted on zoom! I offer two powerful solutions to one of the massive mistakes cooped up couples make that keep them feeling frustrated and alone. For more tips on intimacy and relationships, see my online video course here.
You know when you have something you’re not bringing up to your partner and you start to get quiet, withdraw and silently stew? Here’s a 4-minute tip to give you some courage and context to start revealing yourself a bit and stay connected. Click here for my full intimacy online course HERE.
We’ve been relishing an incredibly connected experience I want to share with as many people willing to learn - an off the hook game changing approach that deepens the level of intimacy in relationships and creates profound joy. Mindful communication. It happens when you shift the conversation to talk only about the here and now, the dynamic between you and another person. Instead of the past, future, or small talk stuff. Shit gets real. Fast. And it’s refreshing. You build a
Is the 24/7 togetherness wearing thin as a couple? Is the pandemic-related job/health/cabin fever stress building under one roof? It can cause real strain on relationships. Tempers can flare and behaviors can spiral out of control and hurt those around us. Here’s some important things to remember: -We need each other. Work it out, especially now - one measure of a healthy relationship is how long it takes to apologize and repair
-Make a clear, firm verbal contract to never na
You may be experiencing survivor’s guilt right now. Gratitude is important. But don’t be hard on yourself for still feeling sad or not grateful enough that you don’t have it as bad as some. If you’re feeling down, while others are sick or dying, losing their jobs.... Buck up! Some might say. Look how good you’ve got it. None of those things are happening to you. You have a roof over your head, food in your fridge.....
Yeah, it’s not that bad for you. You might feel a boost of
We had an amazing first circle last Sunday at Williamsburg’s human@ease. One tool we explored was, (and you can use this in your relationships), when angry, you don’t have to discuss any of the content or the reason for the resentment. If you just stay with present moment feelings, avoiding the backstory entirely, breakthroughs arise just through being seen and heard on both sides, saying what it’s like being in connection while angry. What arises - it was fear, excitement, a
Fear of intimacy and addiction often go hand-in-hand. Addiction is actually a defense - something we can hide behind and depend on instead of people. We literally become attached. When we finally detach from it and get sober, we have to navigate relationships for the first time without “liquid confidence” or the buzz that softens the insecurities that flare up without the cushion. It can feel like dangling off a cliff socially in conversations, dancing, having sex. All this h
Here’s a verbal tweek that can make you more effective. When explaining your point of view and stating something positive like I love you, and you have a second point, don’t start the next statement with BUT. Instead use the word AND. BUT discounts what you just said. AND includes it. For example. I love you but you’re often late. Sounds like being late makes you not love the person. Saying I love you AND sometimes you’re late means you love the person despite their lateness.
I’m starting a small weekly support group for people with a year or more of recovery to discuss and develop their emotional sobriety. This group will expand your emotional literacy and availability. You’ll build skills for more self-awareness, spontaneous authentic expression, and learn to resolve feelings of isolation. We’ll also focus on healthy relationships - what they look like, and how to find and maintain those that are platonic, romantic, in your family, and at work.