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  • Writer's pictureAlison Bulman

The two strongest predictors of a successful (happy) relationship:

Updated: Jul 16, 2021

Lots of factors play a part in determining whether a relationship will work or not.

But two are especially accurate predictors of relationship success:

1.) Feeling SAFE, physically and emotionally. Like feeling you can be honest without judgement, not having to fear name-calling or attack when you open up and get real. Feeling yourself.

2.) Shared VALUES: like honesty, exercise, family, mindfulness....

The most HARMFUL habit in relationships?

CONTEMPT: assuming the worst about your partner. Oh, you never called? You were probably just being inconsiderate again.

Game-changer: Learning to communicate without blaming, shaming or all the other ways we diminish each other.

To honor someone's truth and feelings, not telling them they are wrong to feel what they do. Or trying to change it.

Get curious about their feelings instead-ask about what it's like being them in that moment.

So many have never seen what a healthy relationship looks or sounds or vibes like.

We are children who grew up with divorce, or around the dysfunction in marriages that lasted.

We have to learn to cut out our defenses: the sarcasm, silent treatment, yelling, vagueness....

To really love and protect our relationship.

To stay super alert at its wheel on a daily basis as we communicate.

When we hold each other at arms length to protect ourselves, we're just blocking the amazing breakthroughs, the surprising bond that can come from honesty, gentleness, and creating SAFE space for each other to express.

IF you both commit to it.

For more relationship tips see my online course HERE.

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