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Your
Relationships

CAN
THRIVE

Image by Element5 Digital

Meet Couples Communication Expert Alison Bulman

 

 

 

And welcome to my couples/family counseling page!

I'm Alison Bulman, and I'm here to help you stop the toxic tendencies harming your relationship and hurting YOU.

Communication is the Number 1 problem couples tell me they struggle with. They interrupt. They blame and shame each other. They try to change and fix their partner's feelings. And all this causes escalation and fighting, shutting down, and hopelessness. If this sounds familiar, you're in the right place. 

 

No more sabotaging your emotional well-being, your expensive vacation, your work day, your family's well-being, marriage, kids, and even your finances. Because all these things are way too important to allow reckless communication to ruin.

 

If you work on your communication, you can navigate anything in life together and everything starts to get better. 

 

I focus on showing you a safer, more productive talking style that frees you to be honest and authentic so you feel more seen and heard than ever before.

 

After ten years of working with couples like you, I've found THIS starts to solve your relationship problems. It's way easier than you think. You're on the right path...

Hello

How I can help YOU

I teach a unique, eye-opening Mindful Communication technique that's like a simple reset button to start feeling love and harmony again quickly.

 

Learn the Ten most common "Intimacy Blocks" couples run into, and the Ten "Ground Rules" that keep you from triggering defensiveness in each other - the number one way things escalate and unravel.

Learn how to say the hard things easily, in a new way that your partner can really hear and understand so you both feel seen and get happier.

 

And note that although I help frustrated long-term couples reclaim their love and vitality, I also work with newlyweds on what I call “relationship preventive care” - laying the communication foundation for a successful future together.

 

Use these tools in all your relationships going forward - whether at work, in your family, with friends, Mindful Communication makes you a better partner, employee and friend.

 

Check out the articles below for more information...

"The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers." -Thich Nhat Hanh

 

"The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding."

"Where you are a year from now is a reflection of the choices you choose to make right now."

"Sometimes you need to quit the mediocre things to experience the AMAZING."

Curriculum

Session ONE
o Introduction to Mindful Communication
o Creating a safe space in the relationship by eliminating negativity

o Top Ten Blocks to Intimacy (part one)

o Feelings Chart
o Gratitude exercise
o Assignment: “Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third Edition” Harville Hendrix Helen LaKelly Hunt: Relationship Vision exercise (Exercise #1 in the book)

Session TWO
o Review Relationship Vision assignment
o Top Ten Blocks to Intimacy (part two)

o Feelings Exercise
o Gratitude checkout
o Assignment: Notice blocks to intimacy

Session THREE
o Top Ten Blocks to Intimacy (part three)
o Gratitude checkout
o Assignment: Notice Blocks to Intimacy

Session FOUR
o The Ten Ground Rules (part one)
o Gratitude checkout
o Assignment: Follow Ground Rules

Session FIVE
o The Ten Ground Rules (part two)

o Sentence Stems exercise
o Gratitude checkout
o Assignment: Follow Ground Rules, Use Sentence Stems and Feelings Chart

Session SIX
o Blocks to Intimacy and Ground Rules review
o Magic Questions exercise
o Gratitude checkout
o Assignment: Follow Ground Rules, Use Sentence Stems and Feelings Chart, Practice Magic Questions

Additional Six or More Sessions
o Advanced real time coaching on topics of choice
o Review and resolve specific Practice challenges
o Additional experiential exercises to further improve specific challenges and
refine communication
o Vision and Expectation exercise for couple’s upcoming projects, trips, and events
o Mindful Focus exercise

Image by Annie Spratt

Results you can expect

  • ​Get on the same page about what’s acceptable and what’s not in how you talk to each other to prevent defensiveness and escalating 

  • Improve not just your romantic relationship but also use these communication tools with your kids, coworkers, boss, family and friends 

  • You have these tools forever

  • Avoid thousands of dollars spent on costly divorce

  • Protect your kids’ mental health by fighting less

  • Have better sex

  • Rekindle romance and love 

  • Feel happier 

  • Protect your vacation, event or weekend from the turmoil of arguing and tension 

  • Don’t waste money on couples counseling approaches that don't work

Pink Sugar

As Featured in Garden City Living Magazine

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Choose to work with me, or some prefer getting the male perspective with my husband and I as a coaching team...

I also offer a unique private, online, couple-to-couple coaching experience that includes my husband, Vincenzo Minino, a Gestalt psychoanalyst in training.

 

Some men especially prefer having another man in the space for extra support to balance out the dynamic. Men also get to see another man demonstrate empathic communication and vulnerability as a strength that can be learned.

 

We teach Circling, Emotionally-Focused Therapy, Gestalt, and Imago techniques, with a primary purpose of radical empathy - truly getting each other's worlds. This is how couples start to feel mutual compassion for each other and break through the cycles that keep them stuck. 

We teach this to help other couples access a deeper, richer, exhilarating connection that goes far beyond what you're probably thinking is possible in your relationship. We had no idea what we were missing until we used these tools and now apply them daily in our own relationship. Read the article about us below, recently featured on the cover of Garden City Living Magazine, to learn more about our approach....

Why choose to work with us?

​"Alison and Vincenzo are highly skilled at creating a safe space for partners to love deeper and fuller and connect with others."

"You may feel scared to join as I was, but Alison and Vincenzo were very welcoming. It was really transformative."  

 

"Alison and Vincenzo were overflowing with love and passion for each other and gave so much of their experience, compassion, vulnerability, and knowledge on communication and being mindful with my partner."

 

"Grateful that Alison and Vincenzo facilitated this practice on how to live and stay in the 'bubble!'"

Who are we?

About Alison Bulman, LCSW

Alison Bulman is a New York state-licensed psychotherapist, motivational speaker, and writer, based in Long Island, New York. She specializes in treating couples and people with substance use issues. She is the creator of IntimaCities - workshops, support groups, and a blog - specifically for people who struggle with intimacy. She is a certified Circling Facilitator through Circling Europe, and trained with Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D., authors of "Getting the Love You Want" and creators of Imago therapy. Alison also trained at Gestalt Associates for Psychotherapy, the Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services, and the Hudson Valley Psychodrama Institute. She learned Transcendental Meditation at New York's David Lynch Foundation and studied mindfulness and meditation at the Dai Bosatsu Zendo in upstate New York.

About Vincenzo Minino

With a masters in economics and commerce from his native city of Naples, Italy, Vincenzo came to New York City 20 years ago to pursue his current career as quality compliance director for a multinational company. Resolving conflicts between offices around the globe, he brings a unique understanding of what it takes to get another's world. He's currently in training to become a licensed psychoanalyst at Gestalt Associates for Psychotherapy. He sought out Circling originally to strengthen his connection with his 12-year-old daughter. Circling enriched this relationship and others through his years of weekly practice, retreats, and applying the tools daily in his relationship with Alison. He also trained with Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D., authors of "Getting the Love You Want" and creators of Imago therapy. Vincenzo is committed to teaching his practice for personal and professional conflict resolution. He's especially interested in supporting men to reconcile society's rigid definition of masculinity and vulnerability in his weekly men's group.

Our Story

We are Alison and Vincenzo.

8 years ago, we met at a mindfulness Meetup in Manhattan. Both of us in our forties,  I was discouraged and hopeless about ever finding the One, and Vincenzo was nursing wounds from an ended marriage. I didn't trust his motorcycle riding player vibes. He thought I was cold and withdrawn.

 

When we cut through the small talk and stories we were telling ourselves about each other, and got real, the magic happened: we were able to finally recognize each other as soulmates.

Today, we're committed and honored to help other couples achieve a deeper love beyond their wildest dreams. If it works for us, it will work for you, too.

 

Four years ago we got married.  And we really walk the walk: we practice what we teach every day in our relationship to keep it clean - free of the toxic defenses that corrode trust and safety in the relationship. We show you how to practice Mindful Communication that maintains wonder and joy and connection for years to come.

You can also find great tips for Mindful Communication in my article in the Cornellians Alumni Magazine...

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